February 8th, 2012

John Linsley was an astro-physicist. He made huge discoveries in the field of Cosmic Rays. He was also my father-in-law.

I had the amazing opportunity to be with him for the last 6 weeks of his life. He shared his story, his wishes, his regrets, and his last laughter with me. One of his wishes was that the remants of his life work not end up in a dumpster. The family was in strong agreement that this would NOT happen. But for me, it was not just that wish that motivated me to find a home for his books and papers. It was the Christmas Goose.

 

 The Christmas Goose

For many years, I knew John Linsley only as the father to my future husband. He was smart, kind and funny. During the summer of 1999, I grew close to John as I looked in on him from time to time while the rest of his family was off on their own adventures. I’d drop in after work and we’d eat gyros from his favorite restaurant and chat before his 6:30 bedtime. I began to understand more of his scientific work and it’s significance on the day he shared that his ideas would finally be tested in space. That fall, my not yet husband Alessandro and I moved to Chicago. We returned to Albuquerque for Christmas, and John invited us to a Christmas dinner. John was getting older and had slowed down and we anticipated doing much of the cooking and cleaning. We were very wrong.

When we arrived in the early afternoon, the table was set, the house smelled amazing, and it was clear we were in for a massive treat. John had cooked a full feast including a goose, and blueberry cobbler in a dutch oven. It was one of the most memorable meals of my life, for the food, and for the company. He did not let us clean one dish, and we just enjoyed each other’s company. It was magical.

Then, as we prepared to leave and go to my family’s meal, John gave us his “notes” from the day. In his grand style, he had documented the entire process required to create that meal. I still giggle just a little when I look at that page.

 

 

So, when I was asked why I, John Linsley’s daughter-in-law, a musician, a business person, felt the need to preserve his legacy, I could only think of the goose. It represents his passion for process and execution. It shows his desire for perfection and experimentation. And the results changed the world, if only for the few minutes that we were eating the meal.

But his life’s work has changed more than just my world. And his papers show how and why and what. I believe in truth and balance and knowledge. And it is because of people like John Linsley that I do.

For further updates on the availability of the archive, check Symmetry.

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January 9th, 2012

Here’s what I did today…

6AM – Ignored my alarm and hit snooze twice. Checked my email and messages on my phone while hubby took a shower. Got up, brushed teeth, helped the kid get dressed, unloaded the dishwasher and made breakfast.

7AM – Ate breakfast, sent hubby off to his day job. Cleaned the kitchen with the kid. (ie I washed dishes, she made noise)

8AM – Watched Sesame Street. Caught up on Words With Friends.

9AM – Changed all the sheets in the house. Started the wash – did 4 loads today. Folded one load that I will need for an upcoming trip with the kid’s help… (ie I folded it all twice.)

10AM – Played Cooties, played cards, prepared a snack, drank some tea, moved the laundry.

11AM – Discussed the definition of about 1000 words with the kid while I unpacked boxes from our Christmas trip, with her help.

12PM – Ate a fabulous meatball sandwich with the kid that we made together. Ate 4 clementines with her. Read 6 books to her.

1PM – Worked out on my elliptical trainer for 30 minutes and did 15 minutes of yoga while the kid had some “quiet time”. (ie – she took everything she owns out of her drawers in her room)

2PM – Went to the Forest Preserve to run around, throw rocks at the pond (it’s frozen), and feed deer with the kid.

3PM – Snack again! Goldfish and cranberries with milk. (ew?) Took a shower finally while the kid amused herself.

4PM – Computer time with the kid. Counting, reading and shapes! Walked to the train station to pick up hubby.

5PM – Walked home. Handed off the kid. Ate dinner while I worked at my desk. Made lists, returned emails, sorted the mail.

6PM – Wrote 2 blog posts. One for The Local Tourist, one for later on this blog – it still needs some details. Made more lists.

7 PM – Wrote this post. Why? So that I could show what it’s like to be a stay at home mom. And own a business. And be a human being. And love every minute of it.

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January 4th, 2012

It’s 2012. A NEW YEAR. And everyone is talking about their resolutions.

I believe in change. I believe in action. I believe in life. But not New Year’s Resolutions ™ .

Resolutions seem to be a way of saying, “I am not enough. I should be/have/do more. If only…” It’s as if you are saying, “I want this thing, and I know the only way to get it is through some miraculous change that I am incapable of enacting on my own.”

What I am interested in is what I am doing well, and what is working well in my life. I go to yoga and it makes me feel better. I have been maintaining a routine that seems to make everything in the house a little easier for the whole family. By planning meals a week in advance, I always have good food choices available. I like all of that.

What I want is more of what I am already cultivating. I want peace, balance, space, laughter, love and health. Writing down GO TO THE GYM EVERYDAY won’t give me that. Telling myself that my life will be everything I want if I GO TO THE GYM EVERYDAY will only make me see holes in my life that I didn’t notice before. Recoginizing how often I did go to the gym last year and how amazing it made me felt gives me an instant sense of wellness, and an immediate desire to go work out.

I will not “resolve” to do anything new this year. I will not focus on what I don’t have, what I “should” have, what I lack. I will focus on change, and action and life.

Here’s my strategy and motto for 2012: Less is More. What can I have or do less of, to allow or create more in my life?

What changes the world is action. Little tiny things that add up to monumental and grand moments of beauty and truth.

Less is More. I will be a little bit less, and experience a little bit more. Less time spent on the shoulds, and more on the do. Less stress, more trust. Less worry, more faith. Less eating, more yoga. Less multi-tasking, more enjoyment.

In a year, many things change in our lives. Kids grow, we grow. We have health challenges, life challenges, job challenges and relationship challenges. We go on vacation, move, and try new things.

A year ago, my little one was 8 months away from starting school, still napping 2 hours a day, and a tiny toddler. A year ago, I could not have predicted that 2011 would bring early preschool for her, and word like “negotiate” and “rumpus”. I did not plan on trips to Kansas, Ohio, and Italy for my family. I could not have planned for some moments this fall that changed my entire view of the next 5years of my life. A year ago, I would not have to make the decisions I make today.

In another year, what will I look back and say? I don’t think it will be GO TO THE GYM EVERYDAY. I hope it will be More Abundance.

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December 11th, 2011

It’s that season. The one that most people either dread or participate in with such enthusiasm that it kills the cute of puppies. That one. THE HOLIDAYS. So, let’s stay away from anything to do with that and talk about my amazing clients, and what’s new in the Misery Loves Co family.

Martin Atkins – His book Welcome to the Music Business – You’re Fucked is picking up rave reviews from fun places like The Jazz Lawyer, The Rumpus and Billboard.biz . Stay tuned for a kickstarter campaign as Martin is finishing up Band:Smart (the sequel to Tour:Smart).

Carlo Matos – With poems published at killauthor and ragazine, his second poetry book coming out soon (set your Google search for “Counting Sheep til Doomsday”), and his scholarly Ibsen’s Foreign Contagion  soon to be released, Carlo is making quite a name for himself. Check out his first book, A School For Fisherman.

Judy Wexler – Back from her East Coast performances at Zoellner Arts  and The Blue Note, Judy is ready to welcome a new year and some great new gigs. Stay tuned for announcements on where and when.  She also has a regular gig at Yoshi’s.

Doug McGovern – In September, Doug published a paper on an unknown set of photos of General Robert E Lee in stereo (3-D). You can read the paper as a pdf on his site.

ToyBlock Music is in the process of mastering a few singles, reworking the overall business plan, and trying to find ways to bring great music to as many kids as is humanly possible. Stay tuned for the release of Itsy Bitsy Spider and some additional news next year.

Tortoise and Panda completed another craft fair season and is looking forward to some time off, and maybe some “Beat the Blahs” sales in January and February. Rice Sack Animals and Yarn Necklaces were added to the line of products in 2011.

Thanks for your continued support and friendship. We look forward to helping you in any way we can in the coming year.

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November 22nd, 2011

So often, the things that stop us are hard. Hard to face, hard to fix, hard to talk about, hard to live. …

I refuse to accept that. I refuse to be stopped. People often ask me what I do for a living, and I answer that I consult and help small businesses in the arts succeed at being awesome. But, I think what I really do is smash things. I take other people’s problems and smash them into tiny enough pieces that they can be cleaned up.

Last week, I spent 2 hours unraveling a lost account, and set of previously purchased, but unused ISBN numbers for an author. I did that by calling a phone number (which I had to dig to find) and telling the person on the other end that I had no idea how to resolve this, and would take any help he could give me. I also facilitated planned a Thanksgiving dinner that includes turkey, elk and homemade past. And I cleaned a house including finding over 20 bags and boxes of things that could go to Goodwill. None of that was hard for me.

So what is hard for me? To understand why other people let things be hard. I could tell all kinds of other stories about what I did last week. I could ask everyone to cut me some slack because life is hard and I’m coping with a lot. But, why? It’s my life. It’s not hard, it’s what is. I don’t need slack. I need success. I need love, and work, and laughter. And none of that is hard.

A former client used to always say, “But this is what is!” And I would agree. For her, it was drama, tragedy after tragedy and too much to do. For me, it is what it is. It’s my life. I like it better when it’s easy. I like it when I can tell a client, “I didn’t get to you today. I’ll try again tomorrow.” And the client say, “Okay!” I like it when I look around and see my choices as I made them and life as it presents itself. I like it when even in the darkest moments, I still have a choice, and an attitude of YES!This isn’t hard. What’s hard is to fight that. What’s hard is to accept drama as a way of life. What’s hard is to wait to for everything to explode instead of just smashing it into the bits I can deal with.

So, as we approach the hard months of the year… THE HOLIDAYS, and then we approach the other hard months of the year… THE COLD MONTHS, I am going to find a bigger hammer, and I am going to smash and smash and smash. And I am going to laugh when pieces fly off. Got anything you want me to smash?

 

UPDATE – 10 MINUTES LATER

I got up from publishing this post to do the dishes, and knocked this over.  OOOPS!  But hilarious – thanks for the laugh Universe!


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November 16th, 2011

I was going to write a brilliant blog post. One that explained copyright, marketing and the secrets of the Universe all in one. A blgo post that was destined to change the course of all humankind…

I didn’t. The life and times of MLC and Joanna QL did not agree with that plan. Instead, you get a list. That’s right, a list of ten things. Ten tools I have used this week to survive, grow and live.

1. It’s always something.
There will always be drama if you want it. There will always be a reason to freak out, smoke, eat crap, yell at someone if you look hard enough.
There will always be a friend, a break, a shoulder. There will always be a smile, a gift, a soothing moment if you allow it.

2. Don’t save things until the last minute.
If it’s really important, it can’t wait. If it waits, it may not happen. Or, it may happen and bring with it drama, tears and misunderstandings.

3. Be nicer than you think you can.
Everyone has a story. Everyone has burdens. Everyone has something they are not saying. You don’t know what that it. So, cut that jerk in your life some slack and be nice. And recognize that someone else is doing the same for you.

4. Say thank you and mean it.
Do it. You can change the world.

5. Realize that living what is will always be more powerful than living what I wish it was but isn’t.
We all want it do be different. But it isn’t. And looking at what is – there is some seriously amazing stuff in our lives. Live that.

6. There is always more.
Another opportunity will come. Another dollar can be made. Another friend will be there.

7. Sleep helps everything.
Try it. Put down the struggle, the stress, the drama and sleep for eight to ten hours. Betcha it’s not as bad as it was before you slept.

8. Say thank you and mean it.
Do it again. Keep changing the world.

9. Ask for what you need and want.
It can be yours. But you have to ask first.

10. Knowledge can never be anything other than it is.
Theory will not fix a problem, but might give you a place to start. Answers only apply to specific questions. Information can label and define, but does not create. Learn, absorb, and then go live. REALLY live. With all of your allness.

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November 9th, 2011

Some days the world conspires against me, and I feel as if I will never, ever accomplish anything important, ever again. So, I’m making a list of things to break that mood, attitude and place in my mind. Here’s what I have so far:

Throw away one thing – declutter

Say thank you for one “everyday” thing

Write, text, or call a friend

Learn a new joke and find three people to tell it to

Eat something you have never had before

Do something for someone else without letting them know

Play

Laugh

Sleep

It’s working so well, I’m trying to do the whole list everyday. Any other suggestions of things to add to this list?

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November 3rd, 2011

How often do you practice being awesome? How often do you strive for more, better, the best? How many times a day, do you wish your life was different?

Are you doing anything about it?

Here’s some great advice:

“Start coming up with ideas about what else you can do. It might mean multiple streams of income instead of just one. It might mean freelance. But get your idea muscle in motion. You need to exercise it because it ALREADY atrophied. 10 ideas a day for six months and write down what all the next steps of each idea are. Eventually you will be an idea machine.” (James Altucher)

Another “truth” is that the more time you can invest into your artistic life, the better it will be. Your first three books will probably suck. The first 15 songs you record will be no good. But that fourth book or song number 16 may have the seeds of something special. So if you don’t know what’s going to work, you need to keep trying things. That takes time. But that’s helpful to you because you also need time to improve. That’s why one of the most important skills you can have as an artist (or arts organziation) is the ability to survive long enough to improve. (Mission Paradox)

Negative thinking creates negative results.  Positive thinking creates positive results.  Period. (Marc and Angel Hack Life)

So, what are you going to do about it?

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October 19th, 2011

Little Misery is obsessed with Sesame Street. So, I found some music, put it on the iPod and we had our soundtrack for the afternoon. The favorite song from that CD is “You Gotta Put Down the Duckie, if you Want to Play the Saxophone”.

Excuse me, Mr. Hoots,
I hate to bug a busy bird,
But I want to learn the sax,
And I need a helpful word-
I always get a silly squeak
When I play the blues.

At my house, we have monkeys everywhere. Little Misery LOVES her monkeys and includes them in all of her daily activities. They brush teeth, take baths, play, go to school, ride bikes, cook, and just about everything else. And they get in the way as much as they help.

We had been singing the duckie song non-stop for days, and then Lil Mis changed the lyrics.

You didn’t hear a word I said,
You gotta get it through your head.

Put down the Monkey

If you want to give the cat his food!

Wow.  I watched as Lil Mis started using this silly song to help her make choices that allow her to grow. Put down the Monkey if you wanna draw the picture…. put down the monkey if you wanna find the puzzle piece… put down the monkey if you wanna wash both hands…

So, what’s my lesson from this? How many of us have a monkey, duckie, blankie, issue, etc. that we won’t put down? I know I do. I am afraid of failure. I am afraid to make the wrong choice. So, this week, I am putting down my monkey and make all the mistakes I can with TWO hands.

You gotta put down the duckie,
Put down the duckie,
Put down the duckie,
Yeah, you gotta leave the duck alone.
You gotta put down the duckie,
Put down the duckie,
Put down the duckie,
If you wanna play the saxophone!

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October 16th, 2011

Lately, my life has been challenging. I have been balancing many things personal, professional and spiritual all at the same time. I have faced car challenges, health challenges, family difficulties, and the same economy everyone else is fighting. I have been tired, and as the weather changes to cold, my body hurts more.

I have been meaning to blog more. I set myself the goal of once a week. And it’s been over a month since my last post. I said I would start getting up at 6AM everyday to start my day with meditation and exercise. I have only done that about every third day. I set the intention of more quality time with my daughter. Last week, I had to hire the nanny an extra day just to get a minute to myself to figure out what was next. And then I managed to blow up my own website.

And, through it all, one thing runs through my mind….

Thank you, I AM GRATEFUL. I live in abundance. Abundance of spirit, love, knowledge, resources, and friends. Abundance of food, opportunity, choice and love. And that, changes everything.

Car troubles turned into a new car, and a donation to a program that will fix the old car and make sure that a single mom has transportation this winter. My website crashing allowed me to learn more skills, have a conversation with a great friend, and reset my procedures for managing my site.

Economic troubles are my opportunity to evaluate my methods, desires and intentions in my businesses. Health difficulties are a way to focus on eating right, exercise, sleeping well, and spending quiet time doing nothing with my family. And family difficulties are the best chance ever to clear my internal baggage and be who and what I want to be.

I see so much negativity. But, I choose not to feel it. I want more. I want the abundance. I cannot fix so many things I see, and so much that is happening around me. But, I can stop and say thank you. I am grateful.

So, thank you to all my clients, friends, readers, and fellow travelers. Thank you for letting me be a small part of your lives, and thank you for being a part of mine. Thank you for reading, I am grateful.

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